Eurovision 2009 Special – The Likely High and Lowlights of Moskva

With kick off only a matter of days away to what is sure to be an extravagant Russian spectacle let’s see what goodies the annual contest has in store for us:

The main contenders: Norway, Greece, Bosnia-Herzegovina

Norway’s Alexander Rybak is the hottest favourite to win since Cliff Richard failed to do so in 1968. The Belarus-born Rybak is sure to be up there with his Lords of the Ringsesque Fairytale. Eurovision 2010 in the land of the Trolls, Grieg and fjords is a real possibility.

Sakis Rouvas (see Shag of the Moment) is second favourite with This is Our Night but word from Moscow is that a lot of money is now going on the anthemic Bosnian entry Bistra Voda (Clear Water) by the all-male group Regina. I can see this scoring very well in the Balkans but it may falter when it comes to the Western and jury votes.

The old guard & the big names: Malta, UK, France, Germany

No country loves Eurovision more than Malta and they have come close a couple of times, two of which have been courtesy of the lovely Chiara. Will it be third time lucky for our favourite voluptuous Malteser with the ballad What If We? I doubt it but Malta should return to the finals with this.

The Brits have had a torrid time of late largely due to choosing absolute pap to represent them. This year they’ve selected the West-Endish My Time sung by Jade and written by Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Diane Warren. I’m expecting a better result for this but it is a little too twee and outdated to grab the televoters attention. She could have done better with something uptempo.

France  is a country that had a great ESC tradition but seems to have lost interest of late. They’re look to reinvigorate their results by sending supreme chanteuse Patricia Kaas with the slightly dreary Et S’il Fallait Le Faire (If It Had To Be Done). La Kaas will undoubtedly deliver a super performance but France will be doing well to achieve a top 5 placing.

Ze Germans recived just 14 points last year and this year look to improve with the swing song Miss Kiss Kiss Bang sung by the slightly creepy Oscar Loya accompanied my music producer Alex Christensen. The highlight here will undoubtedly be the appearance of famous burlesque star Dita von Teese as the aforementioned Miss Kiss Kiss. Dita may gain some extra points for the Vaterland but I don’t expect to see them on the left hand side of the scoreboard.

The Camp Factor: Montenegro, Hungary, Sweden

Where would the contest be without its glorious campness? Montenegro’s Andrea Demirovic has one of the campest videos of the year featuring a rather delicious male model and lots of disco balls. Just Get Out of My Life won’t be in the reckoning but hopefully the Serbian male model will make an appearance on stage.

Hungary’s Zoli Adok is undoubtedly one of the more aesthetically pleasing aspects of this year’s contest. Some have asked if his song Dance With Me is actually too gay for Eurovision!!! I’d imagine this will be doing well to make it out of its semi but let’s hope it does.

Finally, where would we be without the Swedes? This year opera uber-diva Malena Ernman was the surprise winner of Melodifestivalen with the camptastic La Voix. Unfortunately, she has ditched the male dancers for females but I have no doubt that this will be one of the more memorable performances in Moskva.

Let the games begin!

Eurovision past – Bebi Dol

1991 was the year of the infamous contest held in a cinema backlot in Rome and hosted in complete disorder by the previous year’s winner Toto Cotugno and the lovely Gigliola Cinquetti. Yugoslavia – a country which was beginning to disintegrate – had hosted the previous contest in Zagreb and this year their contest was won by Serbian Dragana Šarić aka Bebi Dol (baby doll in English) with the song ‘Brazil’.

Bebi Dol

Pretty unremarkable so far you might think – however, that all changed when Bebi Dol bounced on stage first in Rome – a veritable vision in turquoise and looking suspiciously like Patsy from Ab Fab.

Unfortunately, her singing/screeching wasn’t much better and the juries weren’t impressed either as she managed to gain a measely 1 point and second last place. Nevertheless, the performance has come to represent all that is kitsch about the contest and is even loved by some fans. What happened to Ms Dol herself? Well last year she ran in the selection for the contest presenters in Belgrade but ultimately failed. Not to fear – Bebi Dol will always have a special place in our hearts.

Pop from the Past – Double

The Swiss have never been reknowned for producing pop that travels outside other German, French and Italian-speaking countries but have on occasion set the international charts alight. In 1986 they broke with tradition when a little-known jazz act from Zurich produced one of the most sublime tunes of the 80s. Double consisted of Kurt Maloo (vocals, guitar) and Kurt Haug (keyboard, drums) and featured the captivating

 

Double - Felix Haug & Kurt Maloo

‘The Captain of her Heart’ on their album Blue. The song is a sophisticated ballad featuring memorable piano and saxophone sections coupled with Maloo’s baritone vocals which give it an overall dreamy feeling. It reached the top 10 in most of Europe and top 20 in the US.

Unfortunately, Double didn’t capitalise on the success of the single and Kurt Maloo subsequently left to pursue a solo career. Felix Haug died unexpectedly from a heart attack in 2004. The song remains a classic which should feature on any greatest easy listening hits list.

Zeleb of the moment

There has been so much competition for this coveted title over the last few months but one person on the Dublin social scene sticks out by quite some distance - Ms. Lisa Murphy.

Michael Flatley and his two orange friends

This ‘allegedly’ 30 something natural blonde is most famous as being Michael Flatley’s ex and seeming to be the muse of ginger minger Barry Egan’s vacant ramblings in the Sunday Independent’s Life magazine. While the girl must have some talent is seems she has a propensity for rich older men as she is now stepping out with uniquitous celeb lawyer Gerald Kean.

Gerald and glam gal Lisa

You’ve got to hand it to this ex-hairdresser, she’s obviously doing something right to have snagged these men but one can’t put it down to her faux posh southside accent which was so ridiculously exposed during her appearance with sweaty said Kean on The Late Late Show. To give her some dues at least she doesn’t appear every day at the opening of an envelope unlike some others such as Pormond and Marcus Sweeney…more of them to come….

Classic Clip – AbFab ‘Drunk Wine Tasting’

Absolutely Fabulous kept us entertained to the hilt in the early 90s and one of the funniest episodes features Patsy and Edina’s jaunt to France to stay in a chateau for the weekend. Needless to say plans go awry and the pair end up in a small shack a few 100 metres from where they should be staying. A classic episode which also features a bizarre ping-pong game with Bubble and Saffy, and this hilarious clip from their visit to a local winery.

Shag of the moment

With the contest only a few weeks away it is only right that the first ‘shag’ award should go to a stud who is truly connected with Eurovision and one of the favourites for this year – stand up the Greek Adonis himself  Mr Sakis Rouvas! Having already gained 3rd place with Shake It in 2004, and hosted the event with an American who said ‘Amazing’ every 2 seconds in Athens, he’s now back to try and secure Greece’s second Eurovision victory with the Europop This is Our Night.

Moody Sakis

One has to wonder how anybody else could be the poster boy for the dentists of Greece – must get myself down to do a spot of teeth-whitening. Speculation has been rife for many years about his sexual orientation but who are we to question a Greek God.

Sakis has just welcomed a new baby into the world with supermodel partner

Katia Zygouli.

We wish him good luck in Moscow and wonder how he’s going to follow up the strip in 2004.

Boyfriend-material of the moment

The handsome rogue

Well yes, those who know me well know I have a penchant for the Scandis – particularly handsome royal ones! Enter HRH Carl Philip of Sweden – most definitely THE royal hunk of Europe (although there is some competition from Fredrik in Denmark and Haakon-Magnus in Norway). The offspring of dear old King Carl Gustav and his rather attractive German-Brazilian wife Silvia, the young prince was heir to the throne until a change in the Swedish constitution in the 80s led to that honour being passed on to elder sister Victoria. This is probably a great relief to the shy, handsome leftie and now he can indulge his pastimes of racing cars, graphic design and generally being a fine thing!

Dashing in royal Swedish garb

Most definitely boyfriend material now that PR girlfriend Emma Pernald is no longer on the scene. We wait his visit to the southside with bated breath…. give me him over those overrated Windsor fuglies any day. Interestingly when named  hunk of the year by Swedish mag QX the bashful prince said he felt flattered..how sweet. His only competition in the Swedish royal household may come from his youngest sister Princess Madeleine’s preppy-friendly lawyer beau Jonas Bergstrom. Oh, to have such aesthetic choices amongst the Irish elite!

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